I suppose I should want it, but I don't. Or not for the reasons I'd want to want to be married.

You're right: I really thought Ned was going to drop me, and anyway, I had more than half a mind to drop him when the holiday engagements were done with.

I keep thinking that this might not have happened if Orion and I hadn't shifted out to the carriage house. I thought that was the perfect way to escape from all their worrying and watching, but now I think Papa's been worried I'll ruin myself. As if that were a danger with Ned!

And I'm furious he went and made a bargain with Papa without even asking if I'd be willing. Because, of course, Papa thought nothing of it, he's so traditional. But Ned. I want to hex him. Only I can't, can I? Because I don't know what he suspects-